Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
