Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize