Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
