just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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