I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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