Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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