i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
