so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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