To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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