I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we have officially lost it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
