Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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