So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
