she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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