I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
