You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
