Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
