Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
