This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
