feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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