You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
