i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize