Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Green mimosas i think yes
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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