while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
