You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
