we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
