Porn is love you can see.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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