The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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