it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
