Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
