Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
