worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
