Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
