I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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