Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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