cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
