Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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