if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize