So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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