I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
