just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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