that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
smell my finger.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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