i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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