she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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