she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
