chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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