I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
