Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
