So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so let's talk penis.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
