i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dignity is for republicans.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
