just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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