escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
