toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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