Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
