bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
