I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
