I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
