I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
