I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
People in love make me want to vomit
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
