And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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