Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
