Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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