i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
